Bring on the flowers

Another month has ended and another begins. The world hasn't ended (outside of my nightmares) so that's something to be grateful for. Over the last month I have embarked on a journey to rediscover my creative side which was bound, gagged and locked away for the most part, over the last three years.

This part of me got most of its development in a time when I wasn't particularly fond of myself or happy to be me. I can proudly say now that I love me. As with everyone, there are areas of myself that still require some work *cough cough* anger  *cough* management *cough cough cough* but life is process of development and I'm getting there.

I'll be revisiting a lighter side of me from my earlier rhyming days. A few of you may be familiar with such rhymes as:

"I love it when you're dressed and hot

I love to watch you in the kitchen

Your breasts, your legs, your thighs, your back

I love you so my fine backed chicken"

I always enjoyed trying out different perspectives. Most of my jottings like That Love hate Relationship could of course be interpreted quite literally as a relationship between two people. As with a number of my pieces though, I attributed human emotions to something that is far from human. I like write from the perspective of other things (be they animal, plant or object) and trying to see the world from their eyes. It can make a serious sounding piece take on a more comical interpretation. Possessed could also be interpreted in many different ways. I find that for me it relates to a number of things. I'll try to write more like them for you

I do hope you all have a beautiful May. Though, in Barbados at least, we did not have many April showers, I do wish you all a fruitful, blissful and peaceful month of May; full of beauty (with or without the expected flowers). I thank all of you who have read and shared my posts. I look forward to doing more for you. 

Finally tho the one I love. May is the month of your birth and also of our coupling. Two years may not be a long time to most but they have meant more to me than the five that preceded them. I am grateful to you for choosing to share this time with me and for your patience. I love you. Happy Anniversary (though 4 hours early).

That's it for now folks. All the best!

Stay tuned  ^_^

Posssessed

Another of my older pieces

It awakens
From Beneath the surface
Come cries of pain
Pleasure driven
It comes forward again

It loathes
Every thought of happiness
Drunk with temptations
Gently whispers
Screams of irritation

It takes
Peace reasoning and patience
Driven by darkness
Locking away logic
Confuses truth with madness

It Craves
Power from weakness
Each idea contorted and bent
Tunnel vision brings forward
Voices of resentment

It breaks
The will to live and fight
Must kill and must die
Embrace the black future
Escape? you won't try

It tires
Being fought for too long
Anxiety pushes it on
Broken barriers resurrected
It's drive is gone

It sleeps
Dormant once more
Back to normal it seems
Reasoning and sense come
It remains in the body and dreams

The Adolocent Dream

 This one is a few years old by one of my favourites. Do enjoy :)

Study, you say?
I say NAY!
Why lower my standards
To those of a puppet
Moving to the will of pulled strings
I bow not to you sir
Nor to those you call sir
I bow to no one
The days of bowing have gone
Stand you say?
I say NAY!
I will not stand to those
That stand before me
My loyalties lie with those
Who join my fight for emancipation
I link arms with them
And walk to my freedom
You dare not stop us
Respect you say?
NAY! I say.
I give that where it is due
It is due where it is earned
But not to the likes of you
Who expect it and try to take it
Force earns nothing but distrust
Of which you seem quite fond
Fear you or respect you?
Learn you say?
I will, I say.
But from the things I chose
I learn of the things that you learned
In your days of freedom
After you played the puppet
Willingly and fearfully
I learn of no responsibility
I learn of the adolescent dream

A Daughter's Grief

Would you be proud of me?
Would you still tell me that you love me?
If you knew who I've become
Would you still lay claim to me?
I feel like I was never worthy
I was the one who pushed you
I was the one who made you sick.
That's what I feel  sometimes
When I think of all you've missed.
You were there for my first steps
You heard my first words.
You took me to school on the first day
And I didn't cry then.
I knew I would come home to you.
But If I'd known back then
That you wouldn't see me graduate
I would have cried everyday
When I said goodbye to you.

I wish we'd had more time.
I wish we'd made more memories.
I remember what you look like.
I remember the sound of your voice.
I feel like I've failed you
I should remember more.

There is one memory I've held on to
That I promise to keep safe.
It's one of you carrying me.
I was on top of the world
Up on top of your shoulders.
I don't remember the time of day
But I know it was twilight
I remember the most beautiful colours
Swirling around in the sky
The purples and blues and oranges and pinks.
It's no wonder that I love purple
Or that twilight is my favourite time.
When I think of being on your shoulders
My tears go away and I feel safe.
I feel that I can do anything.

I promise I'll be a good girl.
I'll make you proud of me.
I'll be as kind and brave as you.
I will make the world better somehow.
I'll walk in your footsteps
I'll be the daughter you deserved.
I love you daddy.

That love hate relationship

You wanted me gone so I left.

I left you to shudder.

Sure you could find substitutes for me.

But how many does it take

To replace all that I do for you?

When I was around you complained;

I was too much for you,

Came on too strong for you.

You did all that you could

To keep distance between us.

You claimed to love me yet

You can't wait to be out of my reach.

Well I left you.

You said then how you missed me.

Your days were cold without me.

You wish I hadn't left?

You just can't decide.

Is it me you want?

Or is it what I do for you.

What I do can be replaced.

But would you survive without me?

Maybe next time I'll go for a month.

Maybe I'll leave you for a year.

When your depression is complete,

When you pray to see me each day

Maybe I'll return to you.

Maybe then you'll love me

Not just what I do for you.

But you know, don't you.

I can't ever abandon you

Not for eternity.

Never an entire year.

I'll always return to you.

I know you need me.

I know I can be overbearing sometimes.

But I can't help who I am.

And you can't change your need.

Sweep me away

Touch me.
Smack me and stroke me.
I like how you take away all the pain.
When I feel in your embrace I can finally unwind.

Caress me.
Take me away from here.
Make me forget the world again.
Ferry my mind and body to where bliss and joy reside.

Tickle me.
As you trace your way up
from my feet to my thighs and higher.
Then let me sink deep into you gently and slowly.

Push me.
I want it rough this time.
Like always I come into you bareback.
Flip me over and smother me; make me gasp for air.

Hold me.
As I close my eyes.
Let me drift slowly away with you.
I know it can't last but you always make my day better.

Release me.
I walk away from you.
I wash away what you'd left on me.
We never part bitterly. I am at peace with the world again.